Given the unique nature of the blended family, there will be many more opportunities for misunderstandings ranging from baby mama dram to how and when to administer discipline. The key to successful blended family life is in perfecting the art of conflict resolution. It’s more than naïve to think that you will live with anybody long-term and never have differences of opinion. And, unless you truly are a door mat, there will come a time when you feel strongly about an issue and will express your point of view accordingly.
Let’s keep it real! Ephesians 4:26-27 gives us a clear indication that everyone will experience anger at some time or another. But it also gives us a strategy for handling that emotion so that it doesn’t become something more than what we really intended or desired.
- Successful Resolution ~ Remember the age-old rules of engagement for ‘intense fellowship’: a) Breathe, b) Wait until you calm down, and c) Seek to understand the other point of view. Do all this before you open your mouth!
Unchecked anger can become a seething, brooding bitterness that can facilitate irreparable harm. It is a dangerous emotion that always threatens to blow out of control. Lingering anger can easily turn into violence, emotional scarring, increased mental stress, and have many other destructive results.
- Successfully Resolution ~ a) Attack the issue not your spouse, b) Maintain self-control (no name calling and certainly no hitting, pushing, or shoving). If the situation is beginning to escalate, take a break and repeat the first set of Successful Resolution points.
It is important to be able to say what’s bothering you, but there is always an appropriate way to get your topics on the table. From a spiritual aspect anger negatively affects our spiritual sensitivity and receptiveness to God the Father and keeps us from operating in love and forbearance like the Word requires us to.
- Successful Resolution ~ a) Focus on solutions to the problem rather than the problem itself, b) Agree to disagree, then c) Forgive and let it go.
Your Blended Family Specialist
Excerpts from the book by Cathy L. Wray entitled, Life in the Mix – Copyright© 2012