Weekly Wisdom for the Blended Family – Successfully Resolving Conflict

Given the unique nature of the blended family, there will be many more opportunities for misunderstandings ranging from baby mama dram to how and when to administer discipline.  The key to successful blended family life is in perfecting the art of conflict resolution.  It’s more than naïve to think that you will live with anybody long-term and never have differences of opinion.  And, unless you truly are a door mat, there will come a time when you feel strongly about an issue and will express your point of view accordingly. 

Let’s keep it real!  Ephesians 4:26-27 gives us a clear indication that everyone will experience anger at some time or another.  But it also gives us a strategy for handling that emotion so that it doesn’t become something more than what we really intended or desired. 

  • Successful Resolution ~ Remember the age-old rules of engagement for ‘intense fellowship’: a) Breathe, b) Wait until you calm down, and c) Seek to understand the other point of view.  Do all this before you open your mouth! 

Unchecked anger can become a seething, brooding bitterness that can facilitate irreparable harm.  It is a dangerous emotion that always threatens to blow out of control.  Lingering anger can easily turn into violence, emotional scarring, increased mental stress, and have many other destructive results.  

  • Successfully Resolution ~ a) Attack the issue not your spouse, b) Maintain self-control (no name calling and certainly no hitting, pushing, or shoving).  If the situation is beginning to escalate, take a break and repeat the first set of Successful Resolution points. 

It is important to be able to say what’s bothering you, but there is always an appropriate way to get your topics on the table.  From a spiritual aspect anger negatively affects our spiritual sensitivity and receptiveness to God the Father and keeps us from operating in love and forbearance like the Word requires us to. 

  • Successful Resolution ~ a) Focus on solutions to the problem rather than the problem itself, b) Agree to disagree, then c) Forgive and let it go. 

Have a Thriving Blended Family Week!

Your Blended Family Specialist

Excerpts from the book by Cathy L. Wray entitled, Life in the Mix – Copyright© 2012

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About thrivinginblendedfamilies

Current research shows that 1 in 3 marriages in the United States will end in divorce. This is irrespective of whether it is a Christian marriage or not. One thing I love about God is that He's in the restoration business. We may have made decisions that caused us to experience brokenness in one way or another, but He is always working with and for us to put things back together again. God knew that our lives wouldn’t always measure up to His ideals, but He made provision for us. Psalm 68:6 tells us that God sets the solitary into families. Psalm 127:1 assures us that, no matter the parts and pieces, God can build the house. The Perfect Blend was founded in 2012 to minister specifically to blended families. Whatever the composition of your family, failure doesn't have to be your final outcome. God still has a plan for you and your family...a plan that’s good and causes you to win. Cathy Wray is an Author, Ordained Minister, Public Speaker, and Blended Family Marriage Coach, with a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resource Management. She is currently pursuing a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, and a proud mom to a 100% blended family. Cathy has spent decades motivating others to fulfill their God-given purpose through relevant biblical teaching, heart-felt worship, and one-on-one coaching. She resides with her husband of 20+ years in Houston, Texas where they are founders of Impact Church.
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One Response to Weekly Wisdom for the Blended Family – Successfully Resolving Conflict

  1. Pingback: Community planning: Personal retrospective « Urban Edginess

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